duck duck goose mother f*cker- she never ever caught that little bastard with his shoes untied. or red rover, every damn person in the class ran directly for the weakest link...her. what a mess of a gangly child. she had these long long monkey arms, yes she did, that's what her mum always said. and a long long ballerina neck that she touched when she got nervous. ballet didn't take. most things didn't. well, music did. she played fur elise by ear at the age of nine. and took off with violin at ten with suzuki to become the youngest ever concert mistress at meridian junior high. whoopee. by then wire choir was so damn boring that she had to switch to viola in high school just to entertain herself. jayc grew up in a place where kids couldn't pick out a violin in a line up of tubas. he told her she was amazing, and he really thought she was, he came to all of her concerts and sometimes left notes in her instrument locker. she married him right out of ricks college.

ricks. the weather was unbelievable. f*cking miserable. it snowed on her graduation day in the middle of april. the sidewalks all had built in heating devices to melt the snow. she never got over how warm they were when the very snot in her nose was crystalizing. if there's anything she truly hates, it's being cold. seattle was a mildly cold place, mostly wet and always gray. her english mother kept all the damn windows open all damn year, because "that's what they do in england." needless to say erica's favorite place in the house was sitting on the heater vent with a wool sweater stretched over her body so far out her knees looked like double d's.

now here she is, sin city, nicely thawing from a life time of coldness.

sometimes she wants to drown in the tears she never shed in childhood. and be reborn.
god help her, she closes her eyes and you're all still there.