to tumbleweed town. looks like only a few of us are blowing around tonight.

that's alright.

you know, today i've been a-pondering about the concept of TIME.

of late, i've been immersed in the world of samuel beckett, and the post-realism movement. i've also gotten a job, and watched in terror as my "free time" has slipped away.

"What time is it?" asks Hamm. "The same as usual," replies Clov. (from Samuel Beckett's Endgame)

I am unnerved by americans preoccupation with time. and saving time. i think we do it to give structure to our lives. meaning.

"Time is a hemorrhage of existence"

in asian cultures, time is considered a flow, something that cannot be saved, or grasped. something to be accepted and lived.

isn't that interesting. what are we doing with all the time we've "saved" by eating fast food, and multi-tasking anyway?

Americans are in love with TOMORROW. we've defrauded ourselves into loving the future, whatever happens we always have that magical feeling of hope that tomorrow everything will be better.

i say SCREW tomorrow. it's going to end up just like today anyway.

i don't know how i worked three jobs, had classes, and did two shows at once in college. those days just seemed to expand for me to fit it all in.

i've been unemployed for a YEAR, and it feels like i didn't get a damn thing done. in truth i have, a lot. but didn't make money to show for it. so that goes to prove my theory that americans are obssessed with time because "time equals money" and saving time, because "saving time is more time to make money." and why did i get a job? SIMPLE. to make some money. money. money. money. time. time. time.

"we are born above a grave"

thank you, mr. beckett. my god, let's not make the mistake of postponing life until tomorrow. it will just cost too much.