i am severely disappointed in the substandard quality of women's restrooms at strip clubs. when you can eventually find these secretive little rooms, you walk in and get a major case of the willies. the paint is chipped, the sinks are sloshed with wetness, the mirrors are smeared with what appears to be crisco. there is never enough light, or a line, only one or two tired dancers sitting on a puke-smelling couch rubbing their elbows with freesia lotion and talking with nasty language about their boyfriends being callous cold sons of bitches. running out of toliet paper is never a problem though, because stall number one also doubles as a stock room.

on the other boob, from what i can gather, the mens rooms at these places are pallatial resting lounges, complete with warm hand towels, bright cheerful lighting, and minty gum handed to you by a guy that quickly becomes your best friend by the third trip to relieve the overpriced beer pressuring your bladder. i hear they call him the doctor. he also performs the service of making you smell fresh. like you've not been at a titty bar all night instead of working late, like you told your wife.

what's going on here? i understand that men make up the majority of the clients at these places. but they wouldn't be coming here if it wasn't for the feminine puntang in the first place. so i suggest to strip club owners everywhere...let's not treat our dancers and female tagalongs like the whores they may be. let's add some carpet. let's add a little asian woman to powder our noses and tell us "you so hot, you hot like fiya." let's add a big velvet chaise lounge and complimentary lighting and other things that will make us feel like princesses and not sexual refugees. thank you.